Coming upon National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week I was thinking of another idea to write about. All of a sudden the lightbulb went off and a smile came to my face upon thinking of my dear friend I have met through work that holds a very special place in my heart. I printed off some of my articles for her to read to see if she approved of me writing about her. After telling me that I was ministering to those with chronic illness and should continue to do so I got her approval. She has asked me not to use her name, so we will call her Sunshine.
I am an office manager at an in-home care agency. When employees are out for various reasons I fill in at our clients homes. I was blessed with meeting Sunshine about 4 months ago and knew right away what a special person she was. Sunshine is 89 years old, although she sure looks much younger. She was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis in 1991. A wheelchair is what Sunshine uses to get around her house. I know that Sunshine is in pain all the time. Might I say though that she has a better, brighter outlook on life than many people without illness and pain. When I come to visit, I am greeted with a big smile, a twinkle in those bright eyes and a warm hug! Sunshine told me about one of the visits to her rheumatologist. When the nurse was checking her in her legs were stiff and she asked the nurse if she saw her plodding. The nurse said, "plodding?" "Only you come up with these words for things." When the rheumatologist came in the nurse replied that Sunshine was fine all except for plodding. She seems to brighten everyones day around her.
Sunshine was a nurse and I am sure an excellent one at that. The stories she shares are priceless. She speaks of working on the pediatric floor and I can picture the love and care she gave to all of those children. Her husband was in the Air Force and she has done extensive traveling. Sunshine passes on medical information that she knows, reads and things to read that will be of benefit to me with the chronic illnesses I have. I know that she is a blessing not only in my life but also in the life of her caregivers, children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. Let her be an example of living life positively and not dwelling on the negative.
I want Sunshine to know that she is precious and an inspiration to me to keep on moving, smiling and being kind to others despite their ignorance to our invisible illnesses.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Saturday, July 18, 2009
"Where is Your Focus?"
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. Philippians 4:8
Much of the focus in the world these days is on wordly and sinful things. Much of what we take in when watching television, listening to music, playing video games, reading or searching online is just a waste of time and harmful. Even the conversations we have with others can be of negative consequence. What we put in our minds determines what comes out in our actions and words.
The media is all full of doom, gloom, and worldly pleasures. It is up to us to put our focus on God and His word. Replace damaging input with wholesome material. Most importantly read God's word and pray. Ask God to help you focus on what is right and pure. It will take practice but can be accomplished through prayer and self discipline.
Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me--put into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4:9
It is not enough to just hear God's word or read it. We must put into practice what we learn. God wants us to focus on what is pure and right and to live it out in our lives. Put effort into doing what is right and keeping our minds where they should be in God.
Much of the focus in the world these days is on wordly and sinful things. Much of what we take in when watching television, listening to music, playing video games, reading or searching online is just a waste of time and harmful. Even the conversations we have with others can be of negative consequence. What we put in our minds determines what comes out in our actions and words.
The media is all full of doom, gloom, and worldly pleasures. It is up to us to put our focus on God and His word. Replace damaging input with wholesome material. Most importantly read God's word and pray. Ask God to help you focus on what is right and pure. It will take practice but can be accomplished through prayer and self discipline.
Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me--put into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4:9
It is not enough to just hear God's word or read it. We must put into practice what we learn. God wants us to focus on what is pure and right and to live it out in our lives. Put effort into doing what is right and keeping our minds where they should be in God.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
My Loss, My Salvation
When the illness hit, it was sudden and hard with no warning. First thinking it was the flu, later finding out it was fibromyalgia with all of its symptoms and pain. A few months later along came the arthritis with the stiff and sometimes swollen painful joints. I had three wonderful sons, a loving husband, a job and a nice home. Life seemed great until my loss came about. As a healthy, active woman of 41 this was hard to swallow. Chronic illness was something I had heard of but never imagined it would happen to me.
I guess you could say I went through the seven stages of grief. First, shock and denial, those results have to be wrong! Not me, I take care of myself and my family. God would not allow this to happen to me. Pain and guilt came next. Not only did it hurt physically from the illness, my heart ached that this was really happening. Guilt flooded in that I should have done things differently before this happened like going on more outings with my children. Taking more time away from work, housework and trivial things and spent more one on one time with everyone. Anger, asking why is God allowing this? I have a family to care for along with this lovely special needs child He has allowed me to be blessed with. Depression, and lonliness came together. Having an invisible illness made it hard for others to understand and believe what I was going through. Friends were lost. I was so sad that this happened. I hurt and could not go out and do the physical things I loved to do like playing basketball with the children or riding bikes. Gardening was also too hard. I felt so lonely. Like nobody understood what I was feeling or going through. Would my husband leave me and would I end up all alone? Would my children go hang out with other friends parents who could do more and keep up? How could I care for my special needs child? Reflection falls into this category also, which I did a lot of. With the tears came the reflecting on my life. What I had done, not done and what I need to do.
The upward turn started from there. I was a christian, yet needed to totally commit myself to God. I could not do anything without Him in my life. I spent a lot of time in prayer and now know through these trials God still has purpose for my life and loves me deeply. He has things He wants me to do in my lifetime for His cause. Reconstruction and working through these difficult times was hard, but God saw me through. I have learned to pace myself so I can still go hunting with my son that likes the outdoors. Take time to stop what I am doing and go out to eat with my oldest son. God blesses me with the energy and strength to care for and spend time with my special needs child. My loving husband has not given up on me. He helps when I need it and loves me for who I am. I have slowed down and learned to appreciate life more, and spend time with God each day learning more about Him and doing as He wants me to do.
I have accepted what I have and have complete hope in God that I will live a full life for Him. He provides the energy and strength to endure the pain and do what needs done. I had felt for quit sometime He wanted me to start writing but did not do it. I have now listened and feel His guidance with my words I use to help others learn from my experiences. I write for His glory. I can do nothing without Him.
"What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ-the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith."
Philippians 3:8,9 Everything that is gained in life is a loss when compared to the greatness of knowing Christ. He takes our sin and shortcomings and exchanges them for His righteousness.
Through my illness God has changed my life for the better and I have salvation through Jesus Christ and know what wonderful things lie ahead for me in the new paradise..
I guess you could say I went through the seven stages of grief. First, shock and denial, those results have to be wrong! Not me, I take care of myself and my family. God would not allow this to happen to me. Pain and guilt came next. Not only did it hurt physically from the illness, my heart ached that this was really happening. Guilt flooded in that I should have done things differently before this happened like going on more outings with my children. Taking more time away from work, housework and trivial things and spent more one on one time with everyone. Anger, asking why is God allowing this? I have a family to care for along with this lovely special needs child He has allowed me to be blessed with. Depression, and lonliness came together. Having an invisible illness made it hard for others to understand and believe what I was going through. Friends were lost. I was so sad that this happened. I hurt and could not go out and do the physical things I loved to do like playing basketball with the children or riding bikes. Gardening was also too hard. I felt so lonely. Like nobody understood what I was feeling or going through. Would my husband leave me and would I end up all alone? Would my children go hang out with other friends parents who could do more and keep up? How could I care for my special needs child? Reflection falls into this category also, which I did a lot of. With the tears came the reflecting on my life. What I had done, not done and what I need to do.
The upward turn started from there. I was a christian, yet needed to totally commit myself to God. I could not do anything without Him in my life. I spent a lot of time in prayer and now know through these trials God still has purpose for my life and loves me deeply. He has things He wants me to do in my lifetime for His cause. Reconstruction and working through these difficult times was hard, but God saw me through. I have learned to pace myself so I can still go hunting with my son that likes the outdoors. Take time to stop what I am doing and go out to eat with my oldest son. God blesses me with the energy and strength to care for and spend time with my special needs child. My loving husband has not given up on me. He helps when I need it and loves me for who I am. I have slowed down and learned to appreciate life more, and spend time with God each day learning more about Him and doing as He wants me to do.
I have accepted what I have and have complete hope in God that I will live a full life for Him. He provides the energy and strength to endure the pain and do what needs done. I had felt for quit sometime He wanted me to start writing but did not do it. I have now listened and feel His guidance with my words I use to help others learn from my experiences. I write for His glory. I can do nothing without Him.
"What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ-the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith."
Philippians 3:8,9 Everything that is gained in life is a loss when compared to the greatness of knowing Christ. He takes our sin and shortcomings and exchanges them for His righteousness.
Through my illness God has changed my life for the better and I have salvation through Jesus Christ and know what wonderful things lie ahead for me in the new paradise..
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Coping with Stress
"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14:19
Stress is made up of many factors we are facing and dealing with. Living with a chronic illness, there are a few I face and deal with myself. Pain, fear, doubt, uncertainty, and add in the regular day to day struggles of working, money and relationships. In the passage, John 14:19 ,Jesus tells us that he will give us peace. Not the worldly peace free of problems and conflict, but the peace of resting in assurance we do not need to worry about the present or fear the future. Let the Holy Spirit fill your heart and feel the peace He brings to you.
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. " Philippians 4:6,7
Paul gives advice in this passage to turn your stress, all your worries into prayer. Imagine how wonderful it feels to not worry or be stressed. All we need to do is pray to God to take these worries and burdens away. God will guard our hearts and our minds from worries and stress.
I have done this and know that it works. Some days do require a lot of prayer with worries the world sends my way, yet it works, God takes it all away and brings peace. I realize there is no real reason to worry. We have a wonderful place awaiting us in Heaven.
Stress is made up of many factors we are facing and dealing with. Living with a chronic illness, there are a few I face and deal with myself. Pain, fear, doubt, uncertainty, and add in the regular day to day struggles of working, money and relationships. In the passage, John 14:19 ,Jesus tells us that he will give us peace. Not the worldly peace free of problems and conflict, but the peace of resting in assurance we do not need to worry about the present or fear the future. Let the Holy Spirit fill your heart and feel the peace He brings to you.
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. " Philippians 4:6,7
Paul gives advice in this passage to turn your stress, all your worries into prayer. Imagine how wonderful it feels to not worry or be stressed. All we need to do is pray to God to take these worries and burdens away. God will guard our hearts and our minds from worries and stress.
I have done this and know that it works. Some days do require a lot of prayer with worries the world sends my way, yet it works, God takes it all away and brings peace. I realize there is no real reason to worry. We have a wonderful place awaiting us in Heaven.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Eternal Rewards
I was sitting on my couch looking out the window thinking about what to write. A meadowlark and a mourning dove were walking around in the yard singing their beautiful songs. A passage came to mind while watching and listening to them. "Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father." Matthew 10:29
God is aware of everything taking place, even with the sparrows. We are much more important to God than sparrows. "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life" John 3:16. We should never fear the trials or troubles that come our way. Whether it be illness, money, relationships, or any of the worldly things that can cause us problems and pain, we need to remember we have the love of God and His Spirit within us.
I am sending you out like sheep among wolves . Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves. Matthew 10:16 God did not say that things would always be easy and that there would be no pain or troubles. We need to stand strong in our faith and not falter. If we can stand firm and for Christ, despite of what we go through then our rewards will be great in heaven. "Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you." Matthew 5:11,12
God is aware of everything taking place, even with the sparrows. We are much more important to God than sparrows. "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life" John 3:16. We should never fear the trials or troubles that come our way. Whether it be illness, money, relationships, or any of the worldly things that can cause us problems and pain, we need to remember we have the love of God and His Spirit within us.
I am sending you out like sheep among wolves . Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves. Matthew 10:16 God did not say that things would always be easy and that there would be no pain or troubles. We need to stand strong in our faith and not falter. If we can stand firm and for Christ, despite of what we go through then our rewards will be great in heaven. "Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you." Matthew 5:11,12
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Humbled
"Humble yourselves before the Lord and He will lift you up" James 4:10
Humility is something I have truly learned these past few years. I have always known God, loved and prayed to him. Still, I wasn't close to Him, not like He wanted me to be. Having three boys, one of them with many physical and mental challenges brought me closer to God and taught me many things along the way. "Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 18:4
Believe it or not there were many friends and family members that thought my son should be placed somewhere to live. I was upset at the very thought of it. I know they were just looking out for what they thought my best interest. My husband and I have taken care of my son for 19 years now and I would not have it any other way. He is a blessing from God that we were given to care for.
In May 2007, 11 months after a hysterectomy, I came up against my next round of challenges. There was no gradual decline of my health, instead it hit me sudden and hard like running into a brick wall. Certified as a personal trainer and pilates instructor I knew my body well, as I had pushed it to the limits many times getting in the best shape I had ever been in prior to my surgery. My recovery went well after surgery and I was feeling great until that day the terrible pain and extreme weariness hit. At first I thought it was the flu coming on. I would go to work and come home to go straight to bed as it took all my energy to get thru the day at work. Thankfully I had a loving husband that helped with the children. There were no other relatives living in the same town of the Air Force base we were stationed at.
Finally, not able to deal with the pain and fatigue anymore, I seeked medical help. After numerous dr. visits, x-rays, and labwork I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, disc degeneration, and osteoarthritis. No, I am not going to die from these things but at times feel like I could. Knowing that I have to live the rest of my life with this was depressing and unsettling. I didn't understand how God could let this happen to me when I have a family, along with a special needs child to care for. There were times when I lay in bed crying and praying. I felt at my lowest, weak and helpless. With chronic illness it is hard for others to understand since you look absolutely fine to them. Lonliness can strike with all the negative thoughts that come along with it. Having gained weight from meds and not being able to exercise or do the day to day things I used to I struggled with self-worth. It was apparent to me that a touch of vanity needed to be purged from my being as well. God has taught me that true beauty comes from within and from our actions.
All of these thoughts and feelings are behind me now as I totally lean on God and try to do as He tells me. I am never alone and He is always there. I know that I will be able to live through this pain and help others from my experiences.
"Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:29
Humility is something I have truly learned these past few years. I have always known God, loved and prayed to him. Still, I wasn't close to Him, not like He wanted me to be. Having three boys, one of them with many physical and mental challenges brought me closer to God and taught me many things along the way. "Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 18:4
Believe it or not there were many friends and family members that thought my son should be placed somewhere to live. I was upset at the very thought of it. I know they were just looking out for what they thought my best interest. My husband and I have taken care of my son for 19 years now and I would not have it any other way. He is a blessing from God that we were given to care for.
In May 2007, 11 months after a hysterectomy, I came up against my next round of challenges. There was no gradual decline of my health, instead it hit me sudden and hard like running into a brick wall. Certified as a personal trainer and pilates instructor I knew my body well, as I had pushed it to the limits many times getting in the best shape I had ever been in prior to my surgery. My recovery went well after surgery and I was feeling great until that day the terrible pain and extreme weariness hit. At first I thought it was the flu coming on. I would go to work and come home to go straight to bed as it took all my energy to get thru the day at work. Thankfully I had a loving husband that helped with the children. There were no other relatives living in the same town of the Air Force base we were stationed at.
Finally, not able to deal with the pain and fatigue anymore, I seeked medical help. After numerous dr. visits, x-rays, and labwork I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, disc degeneration, and osteoarthritis. No, I am not going to die from these things but at times feel like I could. Knowing that I have to live the rest of my life with this was depressing and unsettling. I didn't understand how God could let this happen to me when I have a family, along with a special needs child to care for. There were times when I lay in bed crying and praying. I felt at my lowest, weak and helpless. With chronic illness it is hard for others to understand since you look absolutely fine to them. Lonliness can strike with all the negative thoughts that come along with it. Having gained weight from meds and not being able to exercise or do the day to day things I used to I struggled with self-worth. It was apparent to me that a touch of vanity needed to be purged from my being as well. God has taught me that true beauty comes from within and from our actions.
All of these thoughts and feelings are behind me now as I totally lean on God and try to do as He tells me. I am never alone and He is always there. I know that I will be able to live through this pain and help others from my experiences.
"Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:29
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