The feeling of dread overcame me as I pulled into the parking lot. I was sure it would be like any other time when I had test results. Blood work is fine, the pain is just from the fibromyalgia. I knew I had seen swelling as well as the Dr this time in my hands and feet. She ordered a nuclear medicine bone scan for something new to try. She started out telling me that this type of scan was very accurate. Once again I thought I would get the same negative results. Once again the dread started creeping in.
Much to my shock however, she told me that it confirmed everything I had been telling them I was feeling for the past two years. Can I explain in words what a weight that took from my shoulders? I truly don't think there are words to explain how wonderful it felt to have affirmation that what I had been feeling was real and not just in my head. Once the methotrexate schedule was explained to me and I was sent on my way it hit me, wow I really do have seronegative inflammatory arthritis ( the exact same as rheumatoid arthritis, but the blood work comes back normal), now what?
Even though I had thought this is probably what I had going on and it felt so good to have someone believe me now, I still had to come to face the facts I had an incurable illness. Well, I am usually a very positive person so I knew I had to make adjustments so I could be the best mom, wife and office manager I could be. I have two boys at home, one of whom has multi-handicaps and relies totally on us for his care. My husband is in school full-time and works full-time as well. I am the office manager of an in-home care agency. Ok, I admit there are days when I am downright exhausted and in pain and I feel frazzled to no end. I found that taking it day by day and hour by hour in little bits makes things much easier. I let myself rest when needed and try to not feel guilty. The house work will be there later, those house fairies never make it to my home. Tomato soup is great for a sick tummy.
I am two months past my new diagnosis and am still trying to learn as much as I possibly can. I do not take the oral methotrexate now as it made me too sick, so I give myself an injection each week. That is something I never thought I would be doing, but I am managing just fine. I even went on a week long vacation to see my mom and sister in June.
I hope that I can help others have courage or at least give them a laugh as they look at my little corner of the world.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Friday, September 11, 2009
A Bright Outlook
Coming upon National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week I was thinking of another idea to write about. All of a sudden the lightbulb went off and a smile came to my face upon thinking of my dear friend I have met through work that holds a very special place in my heart. I printed off some of my articles for her to read to see if she approved of me writing about her. After telling me that I was ministering to those with chronic illness and should continue to do so I got her approval. She has asked me not to use her name, so we will call her Sunshine.
I am an office manager at an in-home care agency. When employees are out for various reasons I fill in at our clients homes. I was blessed with meeting Sunshine about 4 months ago and knew right away what a special person she was. Sunshine is 89 years old, although she sure looks much younger. She was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis in 1991. A wheelchair is what Sunshine uses to get around her house. I know that Sunshine is in pain all the time. Might I say though that she has a better, brighter outlook on life than many people without illness and pain. When I come to visit, I am greeted with a big smile, a twinkle in those bright eyes and a warm hug! Sunshine told me about one of the visits to her rheumatologist. When the nurse was checking her in her legs were stiff and she asked the nurse if she saw her plodding. The nurse said, "plodding?" "Only you come up with these words for things." When the rheumatologist came in the nurse replied that Sunshine was fine all except for plodding. She seems to brighten everyones day around her.
Sunshine was a nurse and I am sure an excellent one at that. The stories she shares are priceless. She speaks of working on the pediatric floor and I can picture the love and care she gave to all of those children. Her husband was in the Air Force and she has done extensive traveling. Sunshine passes on medical information that she knows, reads and things to read that will be of benefit to me with the chronic illnesses I have. I know that she is a blessing not only in my life but also in the life of her caregivers, children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. Let her be an example of living life positively and not dwelling on the negative.
I want Sunshine to know that she is precious and an inspiration to me to keep on moving, smiling and being kind to others despite their ignorance to our invisible illnesses.
I am an office manager at an in-home care agency. When employees are out for various reasons I fill in at our clients homes. I was blessed with meeting Sunshine about 4 months ago and knew right away what a special person she was. Sunshine is 89 years old, although she sure looks much younger. She was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis in 1991. A wheelchair is what Sunshine uses to get around her house. I know that Sunshine is in pain all the time. Might I say though that she has a better, brighter outlook on life than many people without illness and pain. When I come to visit, I am greeted with a big smile, a twinkle in those bright eyes and a warm hug! Sunshine told me about one of the visits to her rheumatologist. When the nurse was checking her in her legs were stiff and she asked the nurse if she saw her plodding. The nurse said, "plodding?" "Only you come up with these words for things." When the rheumatologist came in the nurse replied that Sunshine was fine all except for plodding. She seems to brighten everyones day around her.
Sunshine was a nurse and I am sure an excellent one at that. The stories she shares are priceless. She speaks of working on the pediatric floor and I can picture the love and care she gave to all of those children. Her husband was in the Air Force and she has done extensive traveling. Sunshine passes on medical information that she knows, reads and things to read that will be of benefit to me with the chronic illnesses I have. I know that she is a blessing not only in my life but also in the life of her caregivers, children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. Let her be an example of living life positively and not dwelling on the negative.
I want Sunshine to know that she is precious and an inspiration to me to keep on moving, smiling and being kind to others despite their ignorance to our invisible illnesses.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
"Where is Your Focus?"
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. Philippians 4:8
Much of the focus in the world these days is on wordly and sinful things. Much of what we take in when watching television, listening to music, playing video games, reading or searching online is just a waste of time and harmful. Even the conversations we have with others can be of negative consequence. What we put in our minds determines what comes out in our actions and words.
The media is all full of doom, gloom, and worldly pleasures. It is up to us to put our focus on God and His word. Replace damaging input with wholesome material. Most importantly read God's word and pray. Ask God to help you focus on what is right and pure. It will take practice but can be accomplished through prayer and self discipline.
Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me--put into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4:9
It is not enough to just hear God's word or read it. We must put into practice what we learn. God wants us to focus on what is pure and right and to live it out in our lives. Put effort into doing what is right and keeping our minds where they should be in God.
Much of the focus in the world these days is on wordly and sinful things. Much of what we take in when watching television, listening to music, playing video games, reading or searching online is just a waste of time and harmful. Even the conversations we have with others can be of negative consequence. What we put in our minds determines what comes out in our actions and words.
The media is all full of doom, gloom, and worldly pleasures. It is up to us to put our focus on God and His word. Replace damaging input with wholesome material. Most importantly read God's word and pray. Ask God to help you focus on what is right and pure. It will take practice but can be accomplished through prayer and self discipline.
Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me--put into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4:9
It is not enough to just hear God's word or read it. We must put into practice what we learn. God wants us to focus on what is pure and right and to live it out in our lives. Put effort into doing what is right and keeping our minds where they should be in God.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)